"Are you just saying that because he slept with you too and he's not buying you a car? He likes me alot, Buffy and I like him too. And you know what? This isn't even any of your business anymore. I thought you'd be happy for me because Connor makes me happy." She crossed her own arms and mimicked my stance.
"It has nothing to do with that, Dawn. Me and Connor were....we were grief stricken and not thinking straight. It was an accident. I am happy for you if you're happy but this is moving way too fast." I reiterated, wondering if anything I said to her was sinking into her head at all.
"Just because you can't make any of your relationships work, that doesn't mean you have to take it out on me." She bit out at me and it stung so much that I had to restrain the urge to slap her across the face.
I think she saw the look on my face too because she immediately uncrossed her arms and looked apologetic. Too little, too late. She was my sister, I loved her but lately all she had done was make it blatantly clear just how unwelcome I was in her life. I didn't understand it. I mean, I knew that I'd screwed up sometimes along the way with her but I became her guardian when I was nineteen years old. I wasn't ready to be a parent, and so I'd done the best that I could with her. Apparently my best just wasn't good enough. What a surprise.
"That is not what this is about." I all but hissed at her, glaring up at her with the same look I'd been perfecting on her over the years. She wasn't a child anymore though and I knew that even if she wasn't constantly declaring it. She was a grown woman and she was all but doing the same thing to me that she'd always been accusing me of doing to her. Shutting me out. "I thought you had to be away from me anyway. Isn't that what you said yesterday at Starbucks, Dawn? Now you're here to what? Gloat and show off your new car?"
"No. I'm here to see Giles." She replied sullenly and I vaguelly wondered if I hurt her feelings. I wondered even more why I cared so much about that. These days I didn't seem to care about much of anything. I guess Dawn would always be the exception to that rule.
"Well, don't let me stop you." I said angrily, stepping out of her way so she could storm off inside the hotel and throw a tantrum somewhere where I didn't have to see it.
My eyes drifted to her car and I tilted my head to the side, studying it for a few minutes. Maybe Dawn did have a point. The night I was with Connor he was grief-stricken and filled with enough violence and pain to match my own. It was the only reason I had slept with him. I didn't actually know anything about Connor except that he was Angel's son, which only added to my reservations about him dating my sister. Dawn didn't need the sort of things I'd had to go through when I was her age. I wanted a normal life for her because I couldn't have a normal life for me. But how normal a life could a girl who used to be an immortal key really have?
I was too angry with her for the moment to be much of anything else. How could she think that.....why would she think that? Because it was true? Because I couldn't possibly have a normal and happy relationship with anyone. I mean, just look at my history. Undead possibly evil boyfriend, military experiment gone wrong, another undead possibly evil boyfriend, followed by watcher turned gay. Nothing but a world of badness. I was a stellar example of what not to do. Maybe I just didn't have any room to question whatever relationship Dawn was embarking on with Angel's son. Or maybe I was her big sister and I'd do whatever I damn well pleased.
Yeah. I liked the second option.